What Makes You re-Think "Am I really in Control of My Life?"

Like many other times, tonight again I was confronted with the question "Am I really in control of my life, am I living my life the way I want to, am I living life to the fullest?" Again as previous time the answer is "No." Why do I refuse to listen to these cries from life, why do I not listen to life pushing me around? Why do I keep making excuses to do things like "I need a monitor calibrator so I can edit my photos to print them?" Well ok that is a valid tool I need, but the other things like "Why am I not taking photos, why am I not building the websites I have started but not finished?"

As my favorite quote says "Get busy living, or get busy dying." For the last 12yrs, I've gotten busy dying, I must change and do the dreams I have wanted to do, but missed out on. Like Canada Line construction. I bought a Nikon D70 for $1,800 Canadian, but never did the task I had set out to do. I started out taking lots of photos, but now I am rarely taking photos.

I wanted to do an in-depth photo essay of the 2 retired V-Class ferries and the Queen of Tswwassen, again missed opportunities. I wanted to photograph Broadway Skytrain station before the demolition started on the new 10th avenue enterance, again another missed opportunity. Same for goes the retired E902 Trolley busses from 1982 - 1984. and the list goes on.

The current list today with time running out:

  • Photograph the Albien Ferries before they are discontinued this summer
  • Photograph the Queen of Vancouver before she is retired next week
  • Photograph Mainstreet station before she is renovated any week now
  • Deskill high-floor buses being retired soon
  • 98 B-Line before the fall (or rumored summer) opening of the Canada Line, which will wipe out this route
  • OrionV buses in Vancouver as the Canada Line will wipe out these buses in Vacouver as well
  • Just thought of this one: the two existing Seabuses before their mid-life upgrades

Another point driven home tonight, build my wish-list on the this website for stuff I need/want (including debt contributions) and go stuff for people in exchange for my wishlist items/items I need and debt reduction, therefore not actually being paid in money and technically not having to say I got paid for disability which double/triple taxes you.

I need to think creativally on how to clear my debt, organize my life (which means some purchases to speed up some things, while eliminating other things), Maybe I will continue with the Langara Photography Certificate program come May, which means at minimum by the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, I will have drastically improved my skill for my 2-4 week shoot showing how Vancouver has been transformed for the good and bad.

Now that I think about it, I should also be shooting a couple months before the Olympics at least so I can document the before, during the transofrmation, the Olympics and Par-Olympics and the after-math of it all. The question is "Will my D70 hold up to the challenge" if not then "How can I generate the money to rent a D400 for the two months (on second thought that will be pricy), So I should then be asking myself, "How can I generate the $2,800 I need to get a Nikon D400+Battery Grip+extra battery+larger eye-piece+rubber case+large memory cards?

Yes I got the money from Christmas through May which was my 30th birthday, but I smartly put the money towards debt reduction, but sadly at this point it has crept up $1,300, $500 of which is for the Sony GV-D200 I purchased for digitizing our 8mm tapes (rest has been paid off). The unit was discontinued and no replacement was going to be made. I digitized the tapes, but I am now going to use the unit as a DV converter using the composite/S-Video in to do some VHS tapes as well.

Boy have I gone on a rant today. If you want to help me achieve my goasl do contact me trevor@trevorharrison.com. Yes I know spam bots will get my address, but my new spam filtering software should enjoy the new food it will be getting fed.

Until Next Time.